Mama didn't raise no fool.

I got to see two of my beautiful California people briefly this past Sunday. We met for coffee before they headed back to Sunnyland. (I'm not in the least jealous.) It was superb to see them, and I left the conversation feeling fulfilled for several reasons.

First of all, they're awesome. Secondly, they're awesome. But also, I walked away from the conversation with piece of mind. I sometimes question the legitimacy of my outlook and feelings, and often try to gain perspective via my family and friends. Hopefully this is not unlike most people. The feedback I receive from people I respect and admire is my tank filler at times, and insight that helps put my chaos into a more orderly mess.

Surprise, surprise! The topic of relationships came to the surface, and my married friends, of whom are expecting a baby boy, began to talk about their personal dating experience. The Mom-to-be, and fellow mate who has the great ability to tell it like it is (my kind of Mama!), states quite frankly, that she knew her Daddy-to-be was "the one" after their first kiss. I believe this was only their second date.

I sat in a state of "wow." Talk about knowing what you want, recognizing it, and not being afraid to embrace it. Mama even told her roommate at the time, following their second date, "I think this is the man I'm going to marry." In my book, that's ballsy, as it's essentially setting yourself up for a major let down. I mean, seriously, how can one be so sure? Mama went on to say, "Well, don't you know when it isn't right? Same is true for the alternative." Good point. Wise words my friend...

Thing is, and because it's more often 'not right', it becomes really easy to say "this isn't going to work." When you're faced with 'right', however, the said and done approach is not as appropriately utilized. But no matter what, it's still a process. Making a determination that this feels right, must subsequent an intentional follow through. For me though, the follow-up is where confusion lies. Shouldn't their be a road map to help guide situations such as this? Isn't their a time line that keeps the forward motion on an adapted sequential spectrum? Like (Cali at its finest!), for instance, we've known each other for such and such length of time, so therefore, I should be feeling this way at this very moment. Or, when we reach this marker on the defining spectrum, it's safe to define the status of the relationship in this way. Another marker determining yet another milestone, and so on...

Perhaps this works for some people. For me too when I'm not asking my friends for their incredible acumen. I think Mama is a true genius - always good to have these adept people around. Sure, time does reveal and time does alter the state of relationships. But when it's right, it's right. Time will certainly alter a right thing, arguably, making it that much more right.

Mama taught, or more accurately, re-taught me this: The direction on the road map and time line to get there is not defined in any particular way or order. Simply knowing you're on this adventurous road with the right person is more than enough guidance to get you there.

Meanwhile, enjoy the ride.