Sing it Whitney.

I'm feeling particularly patriotic.
Enjoy the sound of Our liberty with me.
And find solace in this One Moment In Time.

Be somebody or be somebody's fool.

For fear of offending, let me clarify my previous blog which helped me clarify my previous, previous blog. This is referring to the happy single life. When I say happy and single and put these two choice words together, it's not meant to be an oxymoron. The two together make a perfect fit.

How many people are the exact replica of you? Zero. For that reason, nobody knows you like you, and nobody can fulfill you but you. Now, if you don't enjoy yourself, then being single can be miserable. Chances are, and an afterthought solely, another person will not want or desire any part of your misery. Perhaps your Mom will put up with it and give you the comfort you need, but very few and far between will want to partake in your melancholy and in your sheer gloom.

In response to: "How many arrogant people do you know who are single, miserable and don't have any true close friends?" Here goes...

Being single and miserable are two separate things, entirely. Yes, I'm currently in a relationship, but before I was in this said 'relationship', I was...brace yourself for this...single. But not miserable. The two do not go hand in hand. They certainly can, pending how one views their single life, but the reality is that it's a beautiful time to just be. Maybe this sounds lame coming from someone who's 'attached' at the moment, but I'm not speaking from a state of euphoria. I'm happy I was single for such a long period of time. Really happy. Truth is, I couldn't be in a relationship without that crucial, distinctive time. It's enjoyable to figure out what works for a person on an individual level (albeit challenging at times), and let's face it, it's fun not having to answer to anyone.

Having said all of that, there are many single people who are single because of who they are. Arrogance can play a factor, as well as an inability to be one's true self in an intimate relationship - this can be in the form of sabotage, and for a number of other reasons; it can be attributed to how a person views themselves in a relationship, or views past relationships, or their readiness to be in a relationship, or the unwillingness to be open to one, etc, etc, etc. More often than not - my opinion solely - being single is a choice. Whether that's on a conscious or subconscious level.

Once a person consciously recognizes this choice, he or she can pinpoint the factors that determine this choice. And either,

A) be okay and content with it.
B) if not, build on what it takes to be open to possibilities, OR
C) continue to blame outside factors for your life decisions.

If C is a viable choice for you, "I pity the fool..."

What's a girl to do? But give love.

Please ignore my previous blog. Utterly ridiculous. Not the hope in our New Nation bit, but the other piece. A good friend of mine, in response to Hope is a four letter word., said this (and I quote verbatim):

"Often times, when you get frustrated with people that give off a vibe you don't like, just remind yourself of what a totally functional, nice and caring person you are and then think about all of the great things you have attracted into your life by being the way you are. (good friends, good family, awesome boyfriend, etc.) It really makes you realize how people are responsible for their own happiness and you begin to wonder what it is about the rude, arrogant people that they are lacking in their own lives that causes them to draw so much negativity....9 times out of 10 (*blogger note: not a definitive study, but seems reasonable to me!), they don't have any of the wonderful blessings that you do. (**blogger note: The Law of Attraction) How many arrogant people do you know who are single, miserable and don't have any true close friends? For now, just keep being who you are."

Amen. True dat sista. Much gratitude for the much needed insight (and thanks for putting the highly, off the chart, emotions in check. This is what girlfriends are for people!)

Truth be told, people who are insufficient in substance need sufficient love. Vomitville girl will only get love from me, even if she does attempt to spew it out Exorcist style. Reality check: a Catholic priest could very well be in order.

*Fact.
**Fact.

Hope is a four letter word.

As I'm driving into work this morning, following a beautiful and encouraging inaugural speech, I began thinking about a person I've encountered a few times now. These thoughts have absolutely no relation to the speech, as this person has attributes that, very sincerely, make me want to vomit. Our new President, and post-Bush era we live in, however, is astounding and I'm thrilled to be living in this moment in Our history.

Even so, and regrettably, this vomit-inducing individual happened to take center stage for one brief moment in my day. I suppose all of the promise and love in my heart, also ignited the opposite effect in me. To be brief, this vomitville girl, is nauseatingly snooty, beyond pretentious, and has a level of arrogance not worthy of anyone I know. Quite frankly, nobody on this planet has worth exceeding such a repellent attitude. To be descriptive, she's small in stature, small in brain mass, and small in personality, yet, she drowns herself in massive haughtiness. I can't imagine how anybody would find her attractive in the least. The mention of her here serves a purpose for me, as I'm having trouble being in her presence when our paths cross on rare and unfortunate occasions. My fear is I'll tell her she's a pompous cow. I'd much rather vent my feelings on this note, rather than make her squirm into something smaller than what she already possesses.

If anything, I'm now convinced there are females with the Napoleon complex. For those who are unaware of Mr. Bonaparte's fate, he was imprisoned and exiled to one of the most isolated islands in the world and eventually died of a very advanced case of gastric cancer due to an ulcer-causing bacterial infection. Now I'm not saying I'm hoping the same fate for vomitville girl. I wouldn't wish that upon anybody. But part of me does hope that one day she is welcomed to a nice dose of reality.

I personally don't have the ceasing remedy for her behavior, but have been known to be rather forthright every now and again, and I'm not opposed to offering this 'French Empress' my personal opinion if the situation presents itself. If by chance, "pompous cow" is the avenue eventually chosen, so be it. I'll be sure to keep you posted. But until this time comes, I'll reflect with hope as our 44th President, Mr. Barack Hussein Obama, and this next administration take office, and will really hope vomitville folks begin to recognize that the world is a much larger place; their unduly small mindedness is not, nor is it ever, welcomed.

Inspirational overload.

"Don't be like those people who believe in “positive thinking” and tell themselves that they're loved and strong and capable. You don't need to do that, because you know it already. And when you doubt it – which happens, I think, quite often at this stage of evolution – do as I suggested. Instead of trying to prove that you're better than you think, just laugh. Laugh at your worries and insecurities. View your anxieties with humour. It will be difficult at first, but you'll gradually get used to it." (The Witch of Portobello, by Paulo Coelho, page 110.)

Paulo Coelho is my favorite author right now. This is a good read. I actually bought the book. (Check out #6 of particulars in Tell me what to do. Let's see where that gets you.) And you'll find that the book purchase is a pretty big deal in my small world! Be it as it may, perusing through this book has allowed me to put into words what I often have difficulty 'putting into words.' The aforementioned quote is one I strive to do, and feel I've been more capable than many people of doing it, and if I can toot my own horn for a second, I do it fairly well. There's always room for improvement - thankfully - half the battle is in the understanding.

I could go on quoting this book for days, and potentially will. I'll leave you with another short quote I have found relevant, especially in relation to the written word, and self-expression; when posting it for others to view, for others to critique perhaps, for others to laugh or to inspire, it all is a reflection of me. And so it goes...

"When sacred texts are written, they contain the soul of the man who served as an instrument to spread them throughout the world. And that doesn't apply to only sacred texts, but to every mark we place on paper. Because the hand that draws each line reflects the soul of the person making the line." (page 62-63.)

So there you have it - my soul on the line. With a chuckle, and the slight insecurity that one may not find enjoyment or satisfaction in my musings, I'll proceed with a smile, grateful for the Creat(or)ion of my funny bone.

Evolutionary road.

How long does it take to really get to know someone?

My answer: A lifetime.

People grow, people change - we all have our highs and lows; people are, in a word, fickle.

Myself, included.

Watching 'The Bachelor' yesterday has stemmed these thoughts. Me and some gal pals were watching this quality television last night, and mind you, we were appalled by most of it, but more specifically, with how quickly these ladies were enamored by this one gentleman. Admittedly, it's a sad, degrading show, but on the positive, makes we girls feel a whole lot better about ourselves. Because let's face it, I will never be that girl, which essentially, makes me absolutely, and quite contently, normal. Thank goodness for crazy chicks.

These said 'locas' are already head-over-heals with Bachelor Boy, which spurred the conversation of how long it takes to date and get to know someone in a real and intimate way. One gal pal stated that a full year is necessary, as the initial intoxication eventually wears leaving room for a more authentic connection, whilst another stated that she knew within a few months that this guy was different from the rest. These arguments are not new sentiments, no epiphany there. All the same, and in my opinion, the views of both girls are right. I believe you can know somebody is worth your while on day one, and not surprisingly, know them that much more by year's end. And chances are, five years later, you'll know this person on yet another bona fide level.

This isn't exactly rocket engineering. If, however, evolutionary people go into relationships understanding that coupling is an evolutionary process, it's possible to know early on that you want to engage in this process with this person. The highs and lows of love, from euphoria and bliss and onward down Evolutionary Road, are all part of the experience of getting to know somebody through and through. And getting to know them profoundly and with deep passion, may also very well involve some bewilderment along the way, but taking the good with the bad is perchance, what separates the happy couples from the not so happy singles.

Recreational drollery.

Booger: "Why? Does she have a penis?"
Me: "Nope, but she sure does have a booger!"



I went to the IHOP last night. Surprisingly, the place was not exactly full, but I was having a major craving for something sweet, and something simple - no fancy crêpe necessary. Thought an American pancake, Denny-style, would do the trick. And for the most part, the chocolate chip tasty flapjacks did exactly that. Satisfied the craving, making me all warm and terrifically fuzzy inside. Honestly peeps, it doesn't take too much. I wouldn't say the meal was super fantastic, but will venture to say, delightfully pleasure some.

Even so, what I didn't come to expect was a froggy-style booger flying out of the hostess' nostril upon entrance. Here she is beginning to welcome us in, and very likely, only the second customers of the day in this joint, when "it" literally, came down fashionably and was quickly snorted back up in a similar nonchalant fashion. I felt a shock of embarrassment for the girl, looked down expeditiously, pretending not to witness this unfortunate situation, which was very quickly followed by a nauseating appetite suppressing feeling. Lickety-split, just like that my need for something sweet seemed a distant memory. Once she sat us down, I couldn't help but think, "Don't touch me lady. And please keep that booger from falling into my beverage." A snobby, but true testament of my thought process. Until that is, the glorious menu was put in front of me, and pictured in all its eminence sat the chocolatey chippy perfection soon-to-be devoured without a booger of a thought crossing me or my booger-free meal. All in all, mission accomplished if you ask me.

Chances are though, the fancy French crêperie probably comes with a booger-free hostess. Maybe a consideration for the next sweet craving adventure.

Tell me what to do. Let's see where that gets you.

I was told by my favorite person that I'm "particular." Naturally, when your favorite anything (ie. Ghirardelli milk chocolate) provides feedback, (ie. cont., deep salivating satisfaction) it's important to digest it in a way that encourages an unmitigated understanding of the self.

Self-understanding: I like chocolate. But do I like being perceived as a particular person? Whether I like it or not, is irrelevant I think. Because I can certainly tell myself, "Deb, you don't like chocolate," and that would certainly be a downright lie. As it goes, lying is a pet peeve of mine, so I'll refrain from doing it to myself. The self-reflection that follows:

What makes me particular?

1) Every day, at around 11 o' clock a.m., I always order a double shot Americano in a grande to-go cup, light room; 4 packs of Splenda (yes, you read that right.) and a splash of cream. Never fails.
2) Earrings are a must. Preferably pearls.
3) I like 75 degrees indoors at winter, but prefer 65 degree days in general. But not 75 degrees indoors on a 65 degree day.
4) I wear sunblock like it's going out of style. And am convinced that my skin is alabaster and not a nauseating pale white as a result.
5) I enjoy sitting at Barnes & Nobles 3+ days a week flipping through shitty trash mags (Angelina is pregnant with quadruplets, by the way.) and also pick up the occasional newest read. I have been known to read a whole book in the store a time or two (or ten+++) and place it back on the shelf upon finish.
6) I refuse to buy a book unless it's deemed superb by my standards.
7) I very rarely sit through an entire movie. Engaging me for 2 straight hours takes work.
8) I have a male list, and I've always stuck to it. So far, this list has been a helpful tool and proven effective.
9) I love Honey Nut Cheerios, and quite possibly eat it daily. Straight from the box. No milk.
10) I'm naked without perfume. And always go back to Allure every other year.
11) I cannot stand having hair on my arms, and thus get rid of the peach fuzz that I've been blessed with.
12) I brush my teeth right after I drink coffee. Right after. Every. Single. Time.
13) I carry a toothbrush in my purse. Along with deodorant, lotion, body splash, gum, dental floss, lip gloss (4 tubes), & Clinique face powder.
14) I do not tolerate disrespect. Period. Especially when in defense of my family and friends. I WILL feel it a duty to alleviate an arising situation. Verbal bluntness generally does the trick.
15) I feel it necessary to speak my mind. I cannot not.
16) I like pretzel sticks. The generic brand is often better than Rold Gold. PARTICULARLY, Safeway's brand.
17) I prefer Diet Caffeine Free Pepsi. Any chance to avoid yet another pee break is encouraged. (FYI, caffeine is a diuretic, thus pee-age, a byproduct.)
18) I'm highly sensitive. Including my epidermis. Touch is a good thing.
19) Tardiness is rude. I'm a 10-minute early girl.
20) I'm selective with the friends in my life. And don't feel it necessary to please or be-friend people for anything outside of enjoying one's company.
21) I view phony folks as fraudulent. I've been known to call out the fake from the funk a lot in my day. (refer to 15.)
22) Music is meant to be heard. I listen to my music loud.
23) A morning coffee with CNN is a ritual.
24) I have faith. And I ally politically to one side. But never feel confined to set norms.
25) I don't like senseless rules. And don't like being told what to do. *The title of this entry says it best.*
26) My moral code keeps me in line however.
27) I like striped socks.
28) A man that smells nice is a major turn on.
29) I smell my food before I eat it. Literally sniff it like a dog.
30) AND finally, I need alone time each day. NEED. An absolute must have...

There you have it, the short list. Further particulars need not be mentioned. I will go on to say though, I'm glad to know I'm me, and I acknowledge me for me. I accept my flaws, and even try to work on them from time to time. Quite honestly, my particularity, flaws included, keep me feeling stable and somewhat connected to the universe at large. Because, and the truth of the matter, the bigger part of me is nowhere near particular; I'm a gypsy at heart and can very easily fly off the deep end if not held by my self-containing mechanisms. Perhaps I need these stable rituals to keep me from sheer neurosis. Or perhaps even, these rituals and fixed views define my neurotics. Oh well, whatever the case may be, feel free to call me crazy.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh nine.

What happened to 1998? Or 2008 for that matter. Man oh man, time certainly flies.

But life, on the other hand, doesn't fly. (The fly life can be lived, however. Another argument altogether...) Nevertheless, we live and then we die. Sure, life is on a continuum with time, but it doesn't change the fact that we're living at 18 years old, as we are at 28. Experience, gray hair, a few wrinkles, excess weight - these are in fact signs of time altering the state of life - both physically and emotionally. The thing is, we can't ask time to stop moving along, but we can choose how we live our life, within the time frame we're given. So if at 28, I want to jump out of an airplane, or venture over to the Great Wall, or where that tight, skimpy mini, or tell my sister's/family/friends I love them one more time, then that's what I'm going to do. I won't allow the age of my life determine where I go or what I do or how I think even. Perhaps, it's not that "life is too short," but rather, the time we choose to live our life is consumed by wasted moments and unnecessary hang-ups.

Life really is a now moment. With this in mind, stop sweating the small stuff, stop pursuing materialistic gain, and stop pretending you're somebody you're not. Because seriously, you're only kidding yourself with the façade you front. Enjoy this life and do what you love. Be who you are. And as you so please, resolve to live the fly life in 2009.