The future ain't what it used to be.

A path, a focus, a passion, a dream - for many people, having these things is par for the course, but needing a defined road to get there isn't necessarily necessary. Without argument, the future cannot be defined with any absolutes beforehand. Playing Russian Roulette and winning on occasion is not an argument I'm seeking here. For the sake of keeping it simple, what if you do end up someplace else? The unpredictable, blind faith approach to life is far more adventurous than a calculated, and arguably, self-manipulated, brain washing attempt at living your life to the fullest will ever be. Trust me, you'll fall short with the latter. Expectations are a sad set up for failure.

Live life now, and if anything, put trust in getting there. Wherever there is. Besides, it's not going anywhere, is it? Expect it to be there, just don't make yourself any false promises.

A wise man once said: "It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future." ~Yogi Berra

Play ball people!

I do not like green eggs and ham I do not like them Sam I am.

What are people going to think?

Do we not all question this from time to time? We sure do.

No matter what, people will think. They'll think you're stupid, or uptight, or brilliant, or maybe they'll think you're slightly attractive. At times you'll be short, fat, too thin, obnoxiously loud, or you'll lack personality altogether. You might even be charismatic and funny to some, or inexplicably off-the-charts annoying to another. In any event, you can never please everyone. So why ever make the attempt to do/be so? Wasted precious efforts need not be wasted on lousy judgment calls.

Not to say we can avoid judgments. I too have opinions, of which I share and those of which I do not - despite our stance, we all judge. The key to keeping judgments in check, however, is never using them to place somebody in a position of inferiority. Nobody is less of a person than you or I. One can have less money, or less of anything to which you put great value, but when it's all said and done, we all breathe, eat, sleep, and excrement in a similar fashion - some once, others twice, and those odd ones, three times per day. No room for discussion here - case closed. We're human - this is what we do.

On that note, tattoo shop, here I come...

"Oh no!! What will people think?!!" -White trash or an artful display of my spiritual self-expression?- "In your eyes or mine?"


"Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you." ~Dr. Seuss

Footloose is encouraged, but not on your feet.

I was talking with a few friends last night, and unbenownst to me, the formerly topic of all topics in my life, came to the forefront of conversation.

Shoes. That's right, shoes. I have a thing for them, and believe footwear really do scream your personality type. Ladies, when you're scouting out a potential mate, I highly recommend you start from the bottom and work your way up. That's been my motto anyway. Some people, okay most, think I'm a little odd with my assessments, and others perhaps, think there's a level of shallowness to my critique/judgmental outlook of their poor choice in footwear. The truth of the matter is, there's no shallow element to it at all. Truthfully, I'm stretching the truth here. To a degree, I do judge. Here's some unsolicited insight into my quirky shoe ideology (of the male kind):

Running shoes: He either just came from a run/sport activity, or he just likes wearing anything smelly. He probably doesn't wear deodorant either.

Hiker's duds: Fashion is not his forté. He likes his mountain. He likes his green and his bicycle as a preferred mode of transportation. He recycles. He's an observant introvert, and he needs a woman who can keep up with his granola lifestyle. But don't expect conversation.

Boat shoes: He should be holding an apple martini 24/7. Your shoes imply gayville. And hell, maybe you are gay. Certainly explains it. That, or he works on boats for a living.

Work boots: Should not be worn after hours. Ever. But to those that do, expect no female attention. Ever.

Flip flops: There are variances to this footwear of choice, beginning with the Abercrombie douche and ending with the 'care free' dude that just can't be bothered to even get dressed in the morning. Especially evident when worn in the bitter cold of winter. You can spot either type quite easily, even when not looking.

Loafers (tassled): Pompous rejects with high importance on the job front positions sport these sad, should have been left in the 80's, tassled, must be eliminated, shoe - a real scourge of society - any way you look at them. They're such an eye sore, rather unfortunately, they can be spotted from several miles away. What a sad display of confidence.

Converse sneakers (Jack Purcell included): You are one classic cool dude. Effortless, with just the right amount of effort. Of course, this shoe can also swing in another direction - the greasy haired, melodramatic lifestyle kinda guy, is not the classic cool to which I'm referring. Go wash your hair immediately. And, if you have more than 3 holes in your pair, it's time for a new investment. Also, stick with the classic styles; frilly converse are meant for toddlers only. My affinity for this shoe is considerable, so my opinions on them are outside of the realm of possibility. Having said that, these shoes are cheap enough never to go generic. A wannabe converse is worse than anything tassle. Yep, that's correct. I did just go there.

Oxford: A good oxford, when worn effectively, can be a good fit on any guy. These boys, are a go to shoe. Just don't screw this one up. No hideous white gym socks allowed.

Shiny (anything): Rare, let me re-emphasize, rarely should these be worn. Unless you're in the military, and the high gloss must be worn with your snazzy military uniform, please abstain from owning a pair. And if you already do, burn them. Now.

The Jesus sandal (or any form of Birkenstock): Oh my gosh. Do not do it. The sock and Birk in the 90's was an afflicted, inadvisable, debacle of a time. For all repetitious sake: A deplorable, not to ever be repeated mistake. Same goes with mimicking Jesus. Do not confuse the WWJD walk with Jesus as a literal translation. Walking in His 100 BC shoes is taking it way back. There's no purpose here.

Sadly, I could continue, but tis all for this segment of "I know everything and you don't." Gotta cut loose and kick off my Sunday shoes...

There's no place like home. There's no place like home.

Does the past ever go away? Better yet, do the bad memories of the past ever go away? No, they do not. The simple answer, simply put.

Personally, I would rather history not repeat itself. If I can control my own memory to minimize an unfortunate occurrence from happening again, then I'll keep the bastard in a back burner room for future reference if need be. But like the memory of the excruciating childbirth fades, or so I've been told, so does the hurt and pain of past hardships. And similar to the sequence of birth, the aftermath of pain, comes a new birth, a new life, a new perspective - a new change. Pending outlook and hard work, this change is better than the previous experience and the previous life lived. No Einstein revelation here, but an all-the-time rosy existence, which doesn't exist in the first place, would not allow for a full appreciation of the rosiness, if in fact the moments of suffering and sadness in life were not fully conscious and not fully understood.

Even so, if women truly remembered the pain of giving birth, would she do it again and again? The blessing is well worth it, but I would venture to say, we'd have less babies in the world if the pain remained vividly in one's memory. All the same, a relationship comes to a sour end, it hurts, time surpasses, and love is then sought again. Why? Because the good outweighs the challenges. As such, both childbirth and love continue, whilst the past is still, ever-so present. The past, although now emotionally detached to the degree that it once was, will never be too far away. It goes without saying, every event is the totality of who you are. We learn how to walk to eventually run atop mountain peaks! We learn to talk to sing amongst the stars! We love with resilience, to not stop at any given point, but - to continuously seek to love better and to love bigger.

A painful experience can slow us down, but, should it stop us on our path altogether? I think not. This too shall pass - a favorite adage of mine. Things do pass, and we will continue to run and to sing and to love (and to have babies for that matter), and gratefully, these past memories will re-surface from time to time. Because not only do they offer a reminder of what was, but more so, are a great opportunity to recognize how everything makes you the better person you are today. Unless you're a prisoner of your past that is...If so, I say, get the hell out of there and move fast. Refrain from digression at all costs, and jump on the enlightened, progressive train with the cool folks. Dorothy had it right people, there's no place like the present.

Who do I think I am? I mean, really?

I've learned quite a few things in my short 29 years.  Today, a new epiphany came to fruition.  Note to self:

DO NOT blog when PMS'ing.

The following are more DO NOT's when PMS'ing:

  

DO NOT vent in writing, period. (Was this pun intended?  Subconsciously, yes.)  

DO NOT believe the irrational emotions that spew wildly through my pores. 

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT be a total ass-on-fire to those I love most.

There.  And this completes and marks the end of this learning.  Let's hope repetition and reminders of this learning are not needed time and time again.

Please all, and you will please none.

“A liar will not be believed, even when he speaks the truth.”
Aesop, 620 BC -560
Greek author and extraordinaire.

Lying comes in many forms. A definitive lie is easy to decipher; a truth is altered or eradicated altogether, and poof! when the fact surfaces, a lie is then made apparent.

What about when a person is inauthentic, however? Is that not an outright lie, not only to oneself, but also, to all others who cross the counterfeit path? I often find these words at the forefront of harder to detect lies:

"No problem." (said with a smile)
"It's okay." (")
"I understand." (")
"No worries." (")
"I'm sorry to hear it." (")
"That's too bad." (")
"Really, I totally understand, no worries - that's too bad and I'm so sorry to hear it, it's really okay and not a problem what-so-ever." (When in reality, they're pissed as all hell.)

*Note: I told you these lies are harder to pick up; some people who cite these word choices are credible and trustworthy individuals. We know those who aren't though. Coincidentally, they know who they are too.*

I'm finding as I get older, my tolerance level is dropping significantly. In fact, I have less and less respect for people who find the need to please, at the expense of telling the truth. Whether they're sparing another person's feelings, or feel the need to present a disingenuous niceness, either way, it's aggravating and grossly fraudulent. These same people make excuses to themselves that this is the proper and noble way to be, but it's in fact improper, and is terribly misleading. As this aforementioned tolerance level drops, I'm finding it more and more difficult to not say something in response to these liars. Such as, "You're a liar."

Truth be told, I would much rather have somebody give it to me straight, than lie straight to my face. Spare the dressed up lie with people - the naked truth is much more admirable. Besides, pleasing everyone is not a pleasant undertaking. In the end, you'll feel a whole lot better about yourself.

Big bark, no bite.

I had a dream last night that my boyfriend had a son. Evidently, The Bachelor made it to my subconscious on a farcical level. Consciously too, the BOOM! in the finale had my whirlwind of thoughts going "Boom boom boom, let me hear you say way-o. Way-o!" Very seriously, somebody at ABC deserves a major raise. Incontestably, reality television at it's finest. As it goes, I enjoyed the drama filled ending on many levels. I could relate to the gal's heartbreak(s), for one, and for two, it got me thinking this Jason Cat has some severe issues.

Jason Cat claims he would much rather live a life of "no regrets" rather than a life of "what ifs?" I don't buy this claim for one second; total and utter bullshnap. The truth of the matter is he doesn't even know how to live a life without the 'what ifs.' He's programmed his self-protective mechanism into the core of his being, continuing down this seemingly safe path. Arguably, providing only a temporary safety net - a destructive course manifesting over time, and over the long haul. My guess is that J. Cat invites these questions over and over again in his mind, with the likes of: What if my wife hadn't have left me for somebody else? (What if I had been a 'better' husband, perhaps?) What if DeAnna had chosen me instead of that reject Jesse? What if Melissa isn't the right girl for me after all? What if she breaks my heart like the other women in my life did before her? What if....

It seems to me he does a good job of pretending to live on the edge without the said regrets, only because he's afraid of having to be faced with the real fear of his heart, perchance, being ripped to shreds once again. Let's be honest, it can look a safer road to chase after a facade in the midst of a facade. Translation: J.C. chose to be with Melissa. When confronted with a real person (relationship), the reality of yet another break up was a massive roadblock on his safe path. Internal (hidden, due to self-induced denial) message, "Run from heartbreak." This is masked with a delusional, "What if" the 'other' girl was the right choice?" dialogue, as witnessed by the poor external "no regrets" talk - code for: I'm one weak MF and the idea of getting hurt again freaks the shit out of me. Hence, I'll jump around professing a no-regrets, risk-taker-kinda-guy, but I'm really a scared puppy (kinda-guy). (Shhh, don't tell.)

With this mentality, an asinine foolish existence is successfully achieved. (Not recommended, however.) A word of instruction for Jay C. - Stop chasing & start facing - The safe walk is in the illusion, the magic of the journey, in the detour. Take the leap. Of open faith.

P.s. I like ( ).