Big bark, no bite.

I had a dream last night that my boyfriend had a son. Evidently, The Bachelor made it to my subconscious on a farcical level. Consciously too, the BOOM! in the finale had my whirlwind of thoughts going "Boom boom boom, let me hear you say way-o. Way-o!" Very seriously, somebody at ABC deserves a major raise. Incontestably, reality television at it's finest. As it goes, I enjoyed the drama filled ending on many levels. I could relate to the gal's heartbreak(s), for one, and for two, it got me thinking this Jason Cat has some severe issues.

Jason Cat claims he would much rather live a life of "no regrets" rather than a life of "what ifs?" I don't buy this claim for one second; total and utter bullshnap. The truth of the matter is he doesn't even know how to live a life without the 'what ifs.' He's programmed his self-protective mechanism into the core of his being, continuing down this seemingly safe path. Arguably, providing only a temporary safety net - a destructive course manifesting over time, and over the long haul. My guess is that J. Cat invites these questions over and over again in his mind, with the likes of: What if my wife hadn't have left me for somebody else? (What if I had been a 'better' husband, perhaps?) What if DeAnna had chosen me instead of that reject Jesse? What if Melissa isn't the right girl for me after all? What if she breaks my heart like the other women in my life did before her? What if....

It seems to me he does a good job of pretending to live on the edge without the said regrets, only because he's afraid of having to be faced with the real fear of his heart, perchance, being ripped to shreds once again. Let's be honest, it can look a safer road to chase after a facade in the midst of a facade. Translation: J.C. chose to be with Melissa. When confronted with a real person (relationship), the reality of yet another break up was a massive roadblock on his safe path. Internal (hidden, due to self-induced denial) message, "Run from heartbreak." This is masked with a delusional, "What if" the 'other' girl was the right choice?" dialogue, as witnessed by the poor external "no regrets" talk - code for: I'm one weak MF and the idea of getting hurt again freaks the shit out of me. Hence, I'll jump around professing a no-regrets, risk-taker-kinda-guy, but I'm really a scared puppy (kinda-guy). (Shhh, don't tell.)

With this mentality, an asinine foolish existence is successfully achieved. (Not recommended, however.) A word of instruction for Jay C. - Stop chasing & start facing - The safe walk is in the illusion, the magic of the journey, in the detour. Take the leap. Of open faith.

P.s. I like ( ).