Make a better place for you and for me.

I had a moment today - taken from several times spent wondering how things have come to be in my life. Today, it came together, following a deeply hard and heartfelt cry. I often get asked, "What brought you to your career?" And often, I don't have a clear cut response, other than, "My profession chose me, I didn't choose it." Truth is, there are many factors that led me to what I do, but it's a culmination of events throughout my young life specifically, that have brought me to my 'work'.

Michael Jackson's memorial took place today. I expected emotions, but nothing like what happened to me as I sat watching the televised coverage of this historical event. A few weeks ago when I discovered his death, via text no less, I was in a state of shock. This shock had persisted until today, when I was faced with his emotional memorial service. One filled with what I suspect Michael Jackson would have felt adequate and a true honor to his life. As it goes, most of my friends will tell you I never have had any qualms about expressing my love for MJ. In the midst of his hard times even, I stood tall and professed myself a fan. Without a doubt, Michael Jackson was a humanitarian and his music crossed racial barriers and connected to the hearts of millions of people all over the world. I can't recall anybody in my lifetime having an effect such as this. I'm skeptical another will.

Nevertheless, the remarkable memorial service evoked in me emotions I didn't even know were there. Shedding tears, I watched the remembrance of Michael Jackson's love, shared by people who respected and loved him as an artist, an entertainer, as a brother, friend, and as a son, but mostly as a human being who did for mankind with a sense of grace and dignity, not to be matched by many. As my emotions mounted, my recollections of my childhood came to the forefront. A vivid memory of me at five years old flashed before me as I watched USA (United Support of Artists) for Africa perform "We Are the World." The authentic and undeniable feeling at that time in my young life has never escaped me, one of being tied to this plight of service to the sick, hungry and impoverished children of Africa.

At eight years, this same little girl sat mesmerized by the "Man in the Mirror" video, a single, coincidentally released on my birthday, with footages of various news events such as the John F. Kennedy and the Robert Kennedy shootings, Live Aid - with unforgettable images of starving children in Africa -and notable people including Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa, John Lennon and Yoko Ono, Ronald Reagan, Mikhail Gorbechev, and Adolf Hitler. As the years progressed, I bought all of his albums and confirmed "Rock with You" to be my favorite tune of all time. Only later did I find out this was top of the Billboard charts the day and year of my birth. Perhaps just another coincidence. I'm convinced, however, I jived to these beats in my Ma's belly - and as they say, the rest is HIStory (1995).

No matter the case, I knew why I was crying with such great sensation, and with such sincere passion and affection - Michael Jackson, his music, the images of life (and strife) he provided the world, he handed directly to me, too. As a young impressionable girl, I received the gift and internalized it in a way that has helped me pave the path for my life. His inspiration has incredible meaning in my life, and it is in his death that I can safely say, his life gave meaning to mine. I'm not the only one, as millions upon millions will miss his presence, but thankfully he left behind a legacy - one that will indubitably stand the test of time. Love for humanity isn't a trend, and Michael certainly knew that. Although Michael Jackson was a true original, his life and impact were anything but.

"If you wanna make the world a better place take a look at yourself, and then make a change." I couldn't have said it better.

Old fashioned donut.

Upon meeting somebody for the first time, you never EVER get the real person. It's ALWAYS a display of what that person wants to reveal. And if somebody argues they're giving you otherwise, they're lying. They're either lying to you, or lying to themselves. Now I'm not saying people can't attempt at being fully authentic, but right from the start, all people have a defined exterior many continuously mold until they've almost mastered their outer shell. After some time has passed, various lengths for various folks, people typically begin to show the real them. I do believe this time of pretence is crucial, however. Perhaps many relationships wouldn't survive if the hormonal woman gave a dose of reality from day one. Scary shit, right boys?

But here's the real kicker, we're now living in a world where more and more people are living via computer screens. No longer are people lying at bars or somewhere else in public. The cleverly created 'about me' blurb and the magic of the delete bar makes way for a perfected displayed version of themselves most commoners manage to convey to a tee. Lamentably, the innocent exaggeration (aka deception) eventually comes to pass when the distorted blurb and photoshopped image - undeniably leading to false expectations - is sitting across from you at the safe-date coffee shop. Certainly in this day and age, many can relate to this aww-crap moment. Scary shit, right girls?

Boldly speaking, if you want to meet that person, it often takes figuring out who you are, genuinely displaying you as best as is humanly possible, and perhaps going about it the old fashioned way. Maybe try taking a stroll outside with a donut and cup o' joe in tow. I know, I know, how will veracity benefit our perfected artifice? Scary shit, right people?

Erasable Bic.

Marriage has nothing to do with tax breaks. Marriage isn't a contract either. Nor does it have anything to do with signing above the dotted line. The same can be done with a dissolution of marriage, making the so-called contract null and void. Precisely why I stray away from the idea of simplifying a marriage to a contractual agreement between two people. Two people can't possibly be bound to paper and ink. This concept is a recipe for failure - explaining the 50% American divorce rate amongst these short-term arrangements.

Marriage, unfortunately, has become a sad display of signature inkage and the gaining of tax credits, only to eventually succumb to more inkage (dissolving of union via irreconciable differences) and the splitting of assets. Despite the outcome, I'm all for uniting in love to dissipate in hate. Should not everyone be given the right to such choice? Absolutely. Civil unions are an absolute.

Marriage, a God centered commitment, however, is for those individuals who desire a lasting union, not the fickle one involving the erasable ink ballpoint pen. What's the point of signing with a Sharpie when the option to dissolute is available? Use the Bic if that's the objective and potential end-game plan.

Marriage in my googly eyes is meant to last, which in the religious context, is the meaning of the ceremony and of the everlasting union. It's a God centered promise. For this reason, it's meant to be kept within the confines of it's original notion - meant to be unchanged, and from a liberal standpoint and perspective, this is a rarity when I say, marriage is meant to be non-progressive. This definition of permanency is what makes marriage so special to so many people. Respecting the covenant, and respecting the religious beliefs of those individuals who base marriage on the primitive, authentic, if not, antecedent definition, is the state of marriage that should be maintained. If you fall within this credence, then marriage is for you. Otherwise, pray to your spouse that your undying love will last for all eternity or you can always get the prenuptial.

Superheroes never die.

I spoke with my eldest sister over the phone today (she's in California, I'm not) who informed me my dad hurt his ankle while playing tennis with my siblings this past weekend. My dad is 65 years old. (Roughly speaking.) Apparently, he called my sister this morning saying he needs a cane to help him heal his 'temporary' injury.

My dad needing a cane makes me feel at odds with the world somehow. Further in our conversation, my sister expressed her feelings to me in a fairly non-expressive manner. In other words, she didn't know how to express herself, but only said, "Dad's getting old." The sad undertone of her voice said it all, and I connected to it deeply - again, words not necessary. Little needed to be said, as I fully understood what she was not saying. Which got me thinking...

In many respects, no matter how screwed up your childhood, parents are invincible beings, almost superhero-like - the larger than life people in our lives. And as adults, we still view our parents as our go-to guides, particularly when we need advice or are in a bind only our folks know how to fix. Or at the very least, they know how to bring us the comfort we need when those times permit. In any event, when our view of our mom and/or dad is tested, via a sprained ankle, a serious illness, or other bodily/brain deterioration, the reality of our parent's vulnerability becomes, well, real. It goes without saying, we're then forced to face the fact that human nature does eventually takes its place. Even when it comes to our parents.

A sense of sorrow is really the only way I can articulate the feelings I have. I even called my dad today to see how he was feeling. Sadly enough, I don't ordinarily do this. Go figure, I generally chalk it up to an understanding my dad and I have; phone contact and verbal communication is not exactly a strong point of ours. But the reality is, my life often "gets in the way," not permitting the time to call, and quite honestly, I probably, and as a full fledged adult, still take my parents for granted. Perhaps this is the primary reason, albeit shameful, for the lack of ongoing contact between us.

At 29 years of age, it's time I grow up. My parents, just like your own, are getting older. The simple, simply put. This present sense of sorrow, followed by the short time we have on this earth-mentality, makes me want to reach out to the two superheroes that raised me. Because unlike our beloved comic characters, when they're gone, they're gone.

At last my love has come along.

Other than first hand experience, I know nothing. Never quote me on anything. It's as fact as your own personal judgement. In other words, it's lacking significant substance and not to be taken literally. In any event, reading past this point is probably pointless. And not recommended.

Now if you lack substance and good judgement altogether, you've continued beyond the previously pointless mention, and I applaud your stupidity. But more so, thank you for your diligence.

Today's topic: Couples. Do opposites really attract or does like attract like? Let's face it, there's no logic in love - people are, in fact, screwed up. (Fact upon fact.)

The following are typical hook-ups that work, and sometimes don't work (ignore the 'first hand experience' fact - this is more an indirect first hand experience - friends of friends of neighbors and distant cousins experience):

1) Carbon copy couples - These are your regular day narcissists. "We look alike. We're awesome, beautiful people. All others fail in comparison."

2) Carbon copy couples - These people rank in the lower scales on the spectrum of said, beautiful people. "We look alike. Love playing Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds. Little Caesars Pizza is Star Trek, Vulcan style delish. Order in."

3) Older man/tanorexic (younger) woman - "Die asshole." Pretty self-explanatory.

4) Loud woman/quiet man - This is ball and chain defined. They each have a role. "Wait, what did you say?" (Pause. Whilst the evil eye further eradicates the already-too-frail ego.) "Exactly. That's what I thought dumb ass."
:Tail between legs:

5) Obnoxious man/meek woman - "Bitch. Sit down." Jesus loves this union...err, marriage. Right?

6) Cougar/child - Sex.Is.Good.

7) Arty/arty - This union leads a self-inflicted melancholy life and have a 'everyone else is clueless' mentality. Chances are, they would choose suicide rather than admit to being almost identical to couple #1. The small difference, however, they find beauty in their hair grease, and notice the significance of the red dot in the misunderstood painting.

8) Yuppy/yuppy - An unfortunate display of 'know how' and wasted space. These two run their circles with pristine accuracy. Put them in a circle outside of buffy status, and the information pouring out of their mouth will sound like their 18th Century old money ancestors. This couple behind closed doors (See #5.)

9) Trashy/trashy - These are your 'wow' couples, well deserving, and arguably, incapable-of-not worthy of a stare. But, and let it be known, they madly, deeply love each other and aren't afraid to lick the love (or stale beer) right off of each other. In your presence even.

Epiphany: There is logic in love after all. To each their own.


***End note, the above unions/common law/marriages (in some states) include: gay, lesbian, bi, hetero, transgender, hermaphrodite, and every race/culture of demented people under the sun. Which reminds me, I can't wait to run home to gaze into the eyes of my mirrored perfection!

Systemic failure.

How can we expect positive change if we continue to view problems as outside of our own? It's one thing to express compassion, feel sorry for those going through crisis, but unless it involves a loved one, or is directly connected to us, we seldom say more than, "Well, that's really too bad the people of Katrina are suffering?" Or, "The inner cities and the struggle those children face is really a sad thing." Why is it that we as Americans, often have a self v. others mentality? It's generally their problem, until Grandma Mary or Uncle Larry is suffering a similar Katrina fate. Or until a friend is jobless, homeless and in need of assistance. Only then, when it's connected to the self, does it become our problem.

The report from the Pew Center on the States found that one in 100 adult Americans are in prison, one in 9 of those are adult black men. How can we expect many in the black community to rise from historical systemic failures, if they're never given the proper education their counterpart privileged white kids receive? The numbers are staggering and tell a very real story; it goes without saying, school drop-out rates directly reflect the likelihood of prison time served.

When do we begin to say, this really is my problem? When do we say, all children deserve a good start to life? Better yet, when will we start believing it. Sadly, and a true reality, there are children who have yet to be born who will suffer a historical fate they never had any control over to begin with. Is this their problem too?

Tolerance of such discrimination, along with sheer ignorance, whilst sitting in our self-indulgent privileged world is no excuse for a poor "that's too bad" response. Save your breath, authentically connect and lend out your hand. They need us.

Outside noisy, inside empty.

Ponder this for a second...

Live, evolve, die.

People who stand for nothing, desperately attempt to grab hold of the tangible, only to fall short at death. It's hard to be heard, even standing on rooftops, with these claims of nothing. In my book, being mute is one and the same. But just for a second, let's take the time to hear the words of nothing. "Shh, listen." What do you hear? I don't know about you, but other than the fine mist of rain tapping on my window, still, nothing. "Wait, look closer." Darwin bumper sticker staring at your morning coffee on your car ride commute to work. "See it? Hear it?" Newsflash: you're seeing and hearing a whole lot of nothin'.

Evolution is arguably a natural part of our existence. But a cause? A foundation? A purpose? Hardly a principle worth a fight. To even rally for or against creation v. evolution is a losing battle, as they're far from opposites. Apart from something and nothing that is. One has a stance. One does not. But this doesn't stop the Nothing Crew from fighting for their purpose, their maker, their motivator. Oddly enough, we can all agree on this: Death is a part of life.

Maybe we can all agree on this too: Ironically, the Something Crew may have the clear advantageous trait when it comes to the final natural selection process. The nothing, well, perhaps they'll end up on a Dante version of the Galapagos Islands with thousands of like-minded peppered moth friends in their after life? Sounds like good times ahead...


“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.” (Some insignificant guy said this. Albert Einstein something or other.)