Tell me what to do. Let's see where that gets you.

I was told by my favorite person that I'm "particular." Naturally, when your favorite anything (ie. Ghirardelli milk chocolate) provides feedback, (ie. cont., deep salivating satisfaction) it's important to digest it in a way that encourages an unmitigated understanding of the self.

Self-understanding: I like chocolate. But do I like being perceived as a particular person? Whether I like it or not, is irrelevant I think. Because I can certainly tell myself, "Deb, you don't like chocolate," and that would certainly be a downright lie. As it goes, lying is a pet peeve of mine, so I'll refrain from doing it to myself. The self-reflection that follows:

What makes me particular?

1) Every day, at around 11 o' clock a.m., I always order a double shot Americano in a grande to-go cup, light room; 4 packs of Splenda (yes, you read that right.) and a splash of cream. Never fails.
2) Earrings are a must. Preferably pearls.
3) I like 75 degrees indoors at winter, but prefer 65 degree days in general. But not 75 degrees indoors on a 65 degree day.
4) I wear sunblock like it's going out of style. And am convinced that my skin is alabaster and not a nauseating pale white as a result.
5) I enjoy sitting at Barnes & Nobles 3+ days a week flipping through shitty trash mags (Angelina is pregnant with quadruplets, by the way.) and also pick up the occasional newest read. I have been known to read a whole book in the store a time or two (or ten+++) and place it back on the shelf upon finish.
6) I refuse to buy a book unless it's deemed superb by my standards.
7) I very rarely sit through an entire movie. Engaging me for 2 straight hours takes work.
8) I have a male list, and I've always stuck to it. So far, this list has been a helpful tool and proven effective.
9) I love Honey Nut Cheerios, and quite possibly eat it daily. Straight from the box. No milk.
10) I'm naked without perfume. And always go back to Allure every other year.
11) I cannot stand having hair on my arms, and thus get rid of the peach fuzz that I've been blessed with.
12) I brush my teeth right after I drink coffee. Right after. Every. Single. Time.
13) I carry a toothbrush in my purse. Along with deodorant, lotion, body splash, gum, dental floss, lip gloss (4 tubes), & Clinique face powder.
14) I do not tolerate disrespect. Period. Especially when in defense of my family and friends. I WILL feel it a duty to alleviate an arising situation. Verbal bluntness generally does the trick.
15) I feel it necessary to speak my mind. I cannot not.
16) I like pretzel sticks. The generic brand is often better than Rold Gold. PARTICULARLY, Safeway's brand.
17) I prefer Diet Caffeine Free Pepsi. Any chance to avoid yet another pee break is encouraged. (FYI, caffeine is a diuretic, thus pee-age, a byproduct.)
18) I'm highly sensitive. Including my epidermis. Touch is a good thing.
19) Tardiness is rude. I'm a 10-minute early girl.
20) I'm selective with the friends in my life. And don't feel it necessary to please or be-friend people for anything outside of enjoying one's company.
21) I view phony folks as fraudulent. I've been known to call out the fake from the funk a lot in my day. (refer to 15.)
22) Music is meant to be heard. I listen to my music loud.
23) A morning coffee with CNN is a ritual.
24) I have faith. And I ally politically to one side. But never feel confined to set norms.
25) I don't like senseless rules. And don't like being told what to do. *The title of this entry says it best.*
26) My moral code keeps me in line however.
27) I like striped socks.
28) A man that smells nice is a major turn on.
29) I smell my food before I eat it. Literally sniff it like a dog.
30) AND finally, I need alone time each day. NEED. An absolute must have...

There you have it, the short list. Further particulars need not be mentioned. I will go on to say though, I'm glad to know I'm me, and I acknowledge me for me. I accept my flaws, and even try to work on them from time to time. Quite honestly, my particularity, flaws included, keep me feeling stable and somewhat connected to the universe at large. Because, and the truth of the matter, the bigger part of me is nowhere near particular; I'm a gypsy at heart and can very easily fly off the deep end if not held by my self-containing mechanisms. Perhaps I need these stable rituals to keep me from sheer neurosis. Or perhaps even, these rituals and fixed views define my neurotics. Oh well, whatever the case may be, feel free to call me crazy.