The back burner.

I'm flabbergasted. I must be one of the most naive rejects on the planet. To think that people would actually consider other people's feelings is a rarity, or so I've been told by a few friends recently. What a downright shame.

And perhaps, a downright lie. Sadly, people lie to themselves. And it certainly serves a purpose. Living in your own lies masks personal insecurities, whilst and regrettably, hurting others in the process. Where am I going with this? Or where is this coming from rather? Excellent question(s).

When I'm interested in someone, I'm intentional about it. No room for games, no fluff, and famously, my line of all lines, "it is what it is." Amidst all of my insecurities, I'm a secure person. I'm set. Not that I don't waiver, because I do. I'm your typical, average, mediocre human being. But, and gratefully, I've been created to self-express and feel confident with the way I've been put together; my mind, my thoughts, my heart, my feelings, my spiritual connection - all purposeful and all interconnected assuring that my days are not lived in vain. My friendships and relationships are solid. This being said, I would never hurt somebody intentionally, nor would I lead them on to think my intentions weren't so.

It's no surprise then that I do not need somebody on the back burner, while I'm looking for something better. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for dating and having fun, but having somebody on a leash as you flap your puppy dog eyes astray, is never okay. Nor is it what it seems either. The leash holder is the saddest part of this equation; unhappy with themselves, discontent with commitment and sound relationships, and conflicted about what that "better" is supposed to look like.

But what the leash holder doesn't fully understand, is that the search will forever continue. Better is not to be found outside of the fundamental make-up of who you are. The outward exterior is a facade, both in the physical and emotional sense (ie. protective barriers - false bravados - swaggering wishy-washy behavior). It goes without saying, people will never live up to any falsely set expectation. So then, how is it possible to expect something from another when you have no idea who the hell you are? Absurd and beyond reason. Nobody can ever live up to this lie.

Maybe I'm off here, but I believe, the search for the better begins with and ends when the best version of yourself is sought after and discovered (a work in progress (a lifetime of progress)). I'd argue it's the task of all tasks, and the truest way to eliminate further discontent for not only you, but more importantly, for those you leash around.